Disappointed...

Well, these past few days were a little hard. I think that sometime I get my hopes up about things and they just get let down....Thursday night when I was planning on making spaghetti at carissa's apartment I invited that cute boy too and of course it was fun! We flirted and just had a fun time....and the whole night i had a sense that he didnt like me but I kept trying to ignore it. Then when I got home my roommate Sam had told me that she had asked him if he liked me while i was in the other room and he said no.....so i guess that one wasn't meant to be....i will still be his friend like we always have been and who knows if it happens one day then it will but for some reason i doubt it will happen...

Then tonight I went on that sort of double blind date....it wasn't really a date to the guy because i dont know if he knew at the beginning but he found out by the end. First we went to his house to pick him up since his car is in California at his apartment where he lives and goes to school....we stayed there for a little bit and i looked in his eyes and really loved the look i saw....it was just amazing what i saw! i just loved his smile and the sparkle in his eyes....i had talked to my mom a little before that and she told me to just be calm and not talk so much so that is what i was trying to do. i let him talk...he talked a lot! i loved it! I got to listen. At dinner (i paid for myself) we just talked and the casual jokes were given and we all just had good conversations. Carissa and Shane were there too remember this...it wasn't just us. lol! But after dinner we went to Ross the department store to see our friend Ashley because we had some time to kill before the movie. That was fun! Carissa bought a super cute dress for spring banquet! After that all of us went back to Carissa's apartment and just hung out there and watched the end of Remember the Titans. We were waiting to go to the late movie so Mitch and Charla could meet up with us. So we went to the movie (I paid for myself again) and this whole time this guy had been flirting with me and just you know having a good time and getting to know eachother. I thought it was going great! So we go to the theatre and we sit close and just talk....and talk....the movie starts and we still talk....we talked through the whole movie...it might not be good but i loved it....i liked that he was paying attention to me and only me a little of the movie but mainly me....it was great...somewhere in there he held my hand and just sat really close to me because the little arm thingy's came up....i loved it. The movie slowly got over a little bit after that and we all got up and left. We were walking to the car and him and I were pretty far behind everyone else so I thought you know he would really talk to me or at least hold my hand more...but no. No hand holding No talking about anything really....we got in the car and i started to kind of scoot closer but it seemed like he didnt even notice i was in the back seat with him....i dont know what the deal was. So they dropped me off and he was like it was nice meeting you....and that was it! i said it back but nothing else....i just cant handle it.....i dont know what to think...was it just a fling while he was in town? because if it is then he should warn me next time....

So that was my night! Not the greatest in the world....it was SOOOO much fun but the ending hurt...i just dont know what to do....well i added him as a friend on facebook so i guess its his turn to make a move....he probably wont because he is leaving monday to go back and it was just a fling...i just have to keep telling myself that....it was just a fling....

Sorry this post is depressing....but i need a way to vent and this was it.....thanks for reading...and listening...