Complicated...

Hello all, I know I haven't posted in a while! I guess things get hectic around here pretty often! Since my last post I have started and stopped liking one guy and begun to start another one again. The first guy that I have already stopped liking seemed like the perfect guy...Youth Ministry Major....had ambitions...really cute...even from Wichita...but for some reason his feelings were there for me too just not as much as they were there for some other girl. After him and I hung out one night and then talked a lot for a few weeks I guess this other girl started talking to him again..It's almost like I was there only to pass the time.
Anyway so that guy went down the drain. And recently I have been hanging out with one of my really good friends. We have been friends since I came to OC and I have really started to like him. Well, before the Christmas break he started talking to another girl, we will call her "C", This guy really liked C and they started talking alot. They had not become an official item before they left school. Over the break he talked to her seldomly and then New Year's Eve he text me. "Myra, do you like me?" and then it all came out...I said yes and he was like I was always too shy to ask you that. We text for the next couple of days and then we finally were back to OC. He kept talking to C and I kind of was just a few conversations over break. It hurt but I guess I thought that our friendship was more important than a relationship. Then he would start asking me advice. Advice on dates and asking her to be his girlfriend. He hurts a lot but he was an amazing friend and I wanted to be there for him. After they started dating, we were just friends. They dated for about 2 weeks and then she all of a sudden broke up with him. He was in complete shock. I am almost positive I was just the rebound for him but he started spending alot of time with me cuddling, flirting, you know the works. Late nights talking or watching movies. This past weekend C was out of town so he spent almost every night with me. Then tonight, we were in the middle of watching a movie and one of his friends comes in and tells him that C is very jealous and upset that he is watching a movie with me. He tells me that earlier tonight C was talking about wanting to get back together with him and he wanted to go talk to her. Of course, here comes friendly Myra again...Of course, go talk to her she definitely wants to get back together with you. I'm sure it will all work out for the best....

And that was it. I left the elevator saying "Later" and walked to my room. We didn't even finish the movie. There I was giving up all that sleep to spend time with him and the second she comes back he just drops me in an instant for her. That part hurts...it hurts alot...this is one of my friends that I have liked since I came to OC I just didnt want to jeopardize our friendship.

What's more important....A friendship or a Relationship? Tough call....but I always try and make sure the other person is happy...even if it means breaking my heart over and over again.

Sorry this was so depressing...didnt say these would be fun and exciting its just a place to vent.

Myra