I used to think about being a writer. Put my thoughts on paper. I always wanted to touch the lives of others and tell everyone about my life, my mistakes, my victories. For some reason, I would start writing down my thoughts and never finish it. I want to finish those stories. Love is something that I have become to believe can happen to someone if they don't look for it. My sister, she was around 12 years old at church camp. The only thing a girl is supposed to be thinking of then is how boys have cooties and how to do their hair. She wasn't looking for anything but that. And she found the most amazing person in her life. She found her life partner. Who would have thought that some boy in the seventh grade would end up being the best thing that ever happened to her. I look at those two and it just makes me ache because I don't have that. I want to find that person that makes my life worth living. I have been looking for that one person or that certain thing for so long. And I am coming to realize that it isn't going to come to me. I have to stop looking. I have to give up the search and be patient. My sis wasn't looking for a husband in seventh grade but little did she know....she got one! I decided that I have to give up the search. No matter how much pressure OC puts on the students so that they will marry before graduation I have to look past that. I have to stop thinking that I am going to actually find what I am looking for. I have to let God look for me and then let me in on the details later.
So to replace my endless search for the perfect mate, I am going to start finishing those stories. Start looking for the end to my stories. I was watching a TV show tonight and it just really hit me the fact that I have to be patient and God will provide a perfect husband for me one day. I will have the happiness that I see those characters having one day as long as I am patient.
As an end to this blog...no more searching for the perfect mate. No more walking around picking out prospects. No more. One day, I am going to look up from whatever it is that I am doing and my answer will come to me. My answer to life, to love, and my way to happiness.
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