The Lock-In was Fun.....sort of!

Well, this weekend was fun in some ways and pretty bad in some ways. Friday night, Ashford and Brenda and Christie and I all went to the WSU Lock-In! That was pretty fun...we saw some boys, J & E, and they hung out with us all night, literally. Oddly enough I knew J already from my grandma's church. He was that one guy that I always went to her church for, he was so cute and I would always just dream of him talking to me and really actually wanting to get to know me. Unfortunately, for some of the night I thought he was. I thought I kept seeing him look at me or talking to me extra close...little did I know he wanted my friend, brenda. So that was pretty much a hard let down... It wasn't anything too big but I mean it was always that secret that I knew a really hott guy and my friends couldn't come in between that...and then they did. So you know thats life! haha! I don't have pictures of the lock-in just yet on my computer but I will probably post some tomorrow.

So anyway, after that we all came back to my house in wichita and us girls all made breakfast! Because unfortunately my mom was really sick, and in bed! Sad...but hopefully she will be ok soon! Then after breakfast..we were all so worn out from being up all night that we went to sleep! Slept until around 230...well Ashford and Christie left early b/c christie had to be back in winfield earlier! Then Brenda and I woke up and got ready and met Briawna and went to Spangles for lunch! and then just shopped around in Wichita! That's always fun! I didn't buy anything unfortunately but hey thats why its called window shopping! haha! After the shopping, Briawna had to leave to go to something with her church and Brenda wanted to get back to school. So they both left and I was just at home....alone. All day I had been planning some night with all my friends from back there to go to dinner and a movie because I was in town...everyone started out coming and one by one they started dropping out. They would either not want to get out in the weather..or have plans with other friends..or not have any money. Honestly those are the times when you figure out who is your good friends and who isn't. In the end, only 3 of my friends ended up coming with me. I was sad. When one of those three, briawna, usually never is out of her apartment past like 10 and our movie started at 10. And Jenni, she didn't need to be out because she has a three month old son but she wanted to see me bad enough that she went through all the trouble to pay her younger sister to babysit cam for the night. And then james just loves me and he's a good friend so he came with us. We saw Definitely, Maybe. It was so cute! I loved it! and then after that all of us just went to Denny's and had some late night breakfast!

Then finally, today...church was interesting. My ex's mother came up to me and started lecturing me and just talking to me about things that i didn't want to talk about to her. Most of the time I try and not talk to her but on those days, like today, when she just walks right for me like she is on a mission...its hard to dodge her! lol! So we talked for about 15 minutes and then that made me call my ex today and talk to him for a while..and actually he wouldn't even talk to me. He is so mellow and has no opinion on life anymore. It makes me sad. But so that is starting to bother me. I know it has been almost 7 months since we dated but still. We had a big past and its real real hard to overcome that and just forget it. So then when I finally got out of my trap with his mom, my dad and I went to lunch together. Oddly enough, our waiter was the same one who had been my ex's and I's normal everyday waiter. So, him asking about me and my ex was not the best for me. But I guess that is life. Lunch with dad was fun, there are just alot of thoughts goin through my head. Then after Lunch, went back home and took a nap and then woke up and went to Winfield. Ashford and I went to her ex's house for a little bit and then to her house and finally headed home and made it back to OKC.

But on my mind the whole weekend, was that I don't know what I want to do in my life. I don't know what I want my major to be. It's just real hard to decide. And I don't know if I want to go to OC next semester. I'm gonna try and talk to my sister about it this week on Thursday and see what she says, but there is a possibility that I'm not coming back in the Fall. Life is so complicated and confusing at times.

Why is it when I drop everything and come to the Christian college that my morals are shout down the drain, but when I stay at home and attend the Public College, my morals are right and good??

Just Confused -