O is for...

OOOWWWW!!!!!

So I started physical therapy on Tuesday this week and lets just say it hurts! Wow...I can't believe the pain i'm going through! Thank goodness I am off my crutches though and just have to sport around this ginormous boot! It's not too attractive but I'll live right!?? lol! Hopefully I will be out of it soon! It just depends on how long it takes for the incision to heal! Can you believe its not healed yet? Well...most of it is but there is a tiny part at the top that isn't! So my word for O is OOWWW!!! lol! Because my life is surrounded by physical pain! haha!

Oh another thing I wanted to mention was that we have had like some crazy rain recently! For those of you that have been to my house..these are pictures from my backyard last night! It was crazy! The waterfall that is usually like a little trickle of water is basically overflowing like a real huge waterfall! It's so cool! And in the pictures if you look across the water where there is a little patch of grass....ALL of that is my neighbors yard...it is totally


Anyway...so that's my yard! It's crazy! And where all the water is...there is usually a retaining wall there that if you step off of it there is 3 feet to the water below! Look in the pictures...theres no retaining wall!

Well...thats about it! I'm out to go to the benefit garage sale at my church so hope you all have a great day!

"The art of government is to make two-thirds of a nation pay all it possibly can pay for the benefit of the third."

N is for...

Numbness...

Using the word numbness comes with two examples that are both currently happening to me.

For starters...I'm sorry fellow readers for not updating for such a long time. I have been going through some tough times with having surgery, starting school, repairing such things in my life such as my heart, and honestly just trying to cope with what God has given me.

This morning when I woke up I felt like I was still playing a little Texas Hold-Em Poker. In my hand I had 2 10s. On the flop there was a Jack, a 10, and a 7, all in clubs. The turn was a Jack of hearts and the river was a 4 of clubs. So showing I had a full house 10s over Jacks. What to do? Of course you are going to bid them high! I definitely think that I have a good hand! I mean in Texas Hold-em that's a really good hand.
In my real life...I woke up realizing that for the last year I had been in love with a certain ex someone and had deeply cared for him for the previous 5 years before that. So just like in the poker hand I had a 50/50 chance. He loves me compassionately in return or his heart had moved on to better things. And in poker there is a chance that someone had a Jack and a 7 and their hand would win over mine. Or even having the final 10 with a Jack. So what did I do in the poker hand? Bid em high! I was definitely going with my gut feeling. So in real life...I bid em high! I went to this certain ex and told him everything that was on my heart. I told him that I was madly in love with him.
Someone once told me that Short term pain results in Long term pleasure. Thats what I thought my life had come to. The short term pain was over. The previous year was painful...and short term.
In the poker hand, I won! Nobody else had anything close to what i had. I was so psyched! For such a great winning I definitely decided that the love that I had for my ex was worth the risk! The risk of our actual friendship that we had made not lasting through something like this. I went all-in! The fact of the matter was that my poker hand and my love life don't always match. I lost in real life. Thank goodness my poker hand was good...but that joy only lasts until the weekend is over and your bragging rights expire. My heart on the other hand...was numb. I couldn't feel it and still can't. On facebook...my status is that i want to feel "it" again. I want to feel my heart again. I want to know that it is still there so I can give it to the man of my future dreams. Because the man of my current dreams obviously doesn't want it. So numbness part #1...the place where my heart used to be...its numb. Just as if it were never there.

Numbness part #2...my foot! My right foot is huge! It's swollen and most of it is numb. I can't feel it. During surgery the doctor found a torn tendon at the same time which when fixing that it hit a nerve. Which implied numbness. My foot will eventually get back to normal. But as of now..its nowhere close. Thank goodness that Physical Therapy starts on Tuesday and that will hopefully heal some of the numbness.

Does anyone know a good Physical Therapist that can heal my numb heart? I got one for my foot...now if only I had another one that could heal my heart. One day I will find one. And he will be the best. And if I can be honest about this certain Physical Therapist...he will be my husband. Because to fix all the brokenness and numbness in my life is going to take a miracle and thats exactly what my husband will be one day. He will be the miracle that I wait for every day. The miracle that will exceed anything else I have ever seen, yes even One Tree Hill. :)

Enough venting for one day...I will attempt to make my updates more frequent now that I am attempting to deal with my life and not search for the Physical Therapist in the yellow pages but look deeper. Look into my faith and trust in God that he will send me someone that will go above and beyond any Physical Therapist and just be the closest person to perfect as there can ever be. At least perfect to me...

My final thought...There are some people that I miss more than others but will never admit it. And those few are very special to my heart. The moment that they walked out of my life broke everything I had ever built. I have rebuilt my heart, my life, and my faith numerous times. Maybe this time...it won't get knocked down and I won't have to miss anyone anymore and I will finally be happy.
It will come to me one day...I have faith in God that it will.

"All I ever wanted for you to know was that
Everything I'd do,
I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me"
-'When You're Gone'

So far I have yet to get an actual comment..so don't start now. I don't want to know your opinion on this post...its too heartfelt and anything you say will make it worse. Trust me.

M is for....

Minor sugery!

Yep you read it right...I'm having minor foot surgery. It turns out that I have a fractured bone in my big toe of my right foot. My second Podiatrist found it so we are having him surgically remove that fractured bone. He said that it is not a necessary bone to have to do all the normal daily activities. Now if I ever consider to be a ballerina then those dreams would probably not come true since removing this bone will take away some of the precise foot movements that a ballerina must master. But since I am not considering to be a dancer in my future...I'm sure I will be ok.

My surgery is schedule for Tuesday, August 19th at 7:30 in the morning. The doctor said that I should be out of the hospital by 12,noon that day depending on how long it takes me to come out of the anesthesia. All of your prayers will be greatly appreciated. After the surgery I will post pictures of my cool scars! I'm sure it will be very small but still it will be a good story to tell my children right? I have learned that I have to be optimistic in cases like this or else I will never make it through.

There is one bad thing about this surgery which is the fact that I must be on crutches for the first week or so of school. My classes start 2 days after my surgery. Fortunately my father made a great point the other day regarding me having to use crutches. He said, "See Myra these crutches could be a great thing, When you are struggling with your books and crutches at the same time; then some cute boy will come up and help you." It made me laugh. My dad is hilarious sometimes! I loved it! I was thinking...I think the purpose of this surgery was for me to find my husband...its inevitable! haha!

Well with surgery next Tuesday and classes starting the following Thursday I think I'm going to be pretty busy with everything. I will attempt to update my blog pretty frequently. I just hope school doesn't take up TOO much of my time! Prayers are always appreciated!

Hope you all have a great day! i'm off to the annual Cracker Barrel Picnic on my lunch break! Yes even though it has been about a year and a half since I worked there...they still love me and want me to come! YAY!!! i'll leave you with this quote for my final thought! I love you all!

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."
-John W. Gardner

L is for....

The way you LOOK at me
O is for the Only One I See
V is Very Very extroadinary
E is Even More than Anyone That You Adore

And Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart but please don't break it
Love was made for me and you...

So the other day I was wondering if true love was possible and so that was my status on facebook...and the next day I received a message..and this is what it said. The author will remain unknown!

Whether true love is possible is an interesting question.It requires an analysis of the definition "love" and "true" and then proceeds to inquire as to the circumstances in which it occurs. A logical, analytical approach is most preferred.

As per the definition of "love" I will reference the "he agape"--I'm sorry I can't use actual Greek characters. The selfless, giving love which is the ultimate result of a romantic association is possible.

Next, we consider the adjective "true", "aletheis" meaning, true, real, genuine, or honest. The love must be real or it is not love. It must be genuine or it has an alterior motive. Since "love seeks not its own glory" then alterior motives are precluded. It must also be honest for the same reasons. The conclusion then is that the adjective is mere surplusage and verbiage if we accept the proffered definition.

Finally, one consideres the circumstances in which it occurs. Love--omitting the unnecessary adjective--is something that is cultivated and worked for. It takes time and experience for it to be nurtured. It cannot happen by chance. Nor is it consistent with the idea that once two people fall in love that they stay that way forever. Many married couples fall in and out of love--as the term is commonly used--but they have to work for it. That's why arranged marriages aren't as bad an idea as Americans assume.

There are many proofs, examples, arguments, and Scriptural citations which I have used to generate my opinion on the subject, but explaining the intricacies of the analysis would be extremely lengthy, so I have tried to keep it to a very brief summary of a much longer thesis.

So what do you think? For most of you...your married..you think its true..but until the day that I find my one true love...I don't believe you! Hope you all have a splendid day! I will continue my search for true love and one day I'll find it! Don't worry I got people looking for me...hopefully God will RSVP to me one day and let me know who it is! :)

Prayers are always good and I'm very thankful for all of you who do pray for me!

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
-Franklin P. Jones

K is for....

Knots...

Lets just say my heart is in knots right now...I met a guy..with a few flaws...he leaves for the MARINES?? Why can't I get away from Military guys!?? I don't understand. Well lets just say the whole boy issue..I don't really know how its going...Complicated..is a great word to describe it. He left Sunday so the complication is really in my head. I just don't know.

Other than that...my life is going pretty good. I am just working and getting ready for school in the fall. I really am excited for school to start because being without a car makes the summer harder to enjoy. At least at school I will be closer to all my friends and actually have things to take up my time. I am taking only 12 hours in the fall because I need to bring my GPA up really bad! But I have ambition now and I'm going to do it! I'm super excited!

My feet problems are getting worse. The doctor that I was going to gave me the orthotics that he made for me and I would try them out for two weeks and then go back in for a check-up. My feet still hurt...we repeated this process 3 or 4 times. Finally on the last time which occurred yesterday he decided that he would send my orthotics without measuring anything or without any markings on the orthotics. I am thinking...how are some random guys going to fix these without knowing what to fix? It was crazy...anyway so mom and I decided that we are going to get a second opinion. I am going to see a different Podiatrist next Thursday...the only bad thing is that I am going to go without any orthotics in my shoes for probably a month which will be painful. I might have to just wear tennis shoes all the time because those didn't hurt AS BAD.

Pray for me everyone! Pray for my man situation...pray for my feet...and just pray for me in general! I need prayers!

I think thats about it for today! I love all of you! Hope you have a fantastic day! Praying has always been something I lack in my life but I'm trying to bring it in to my life! I would really appreciate it if you could help me with that. Thanks everyone!

'There are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers"
-Teresa of Avila

J is for....

Just a quick prayer request!

Let's be honest...I cannot think of any word that starts with a J! It was really hard for me to find one so I cheated! Sorry! I wanted to stop by on my wonderful blog and say hi to everyone! And I want to let everyone know that if you have anything that is heavy on your heart or that is just bothering you...then drop me a comment and I will add you to my prayer list. I know that I would thoroughly appreciate it if you would put me on your prayer lists. I recently have met a certain boy and think he's pretty special and I'm pretty worried about how it is going to turn out since he leaves for the Marines this coming Sunday! But I am just requesting prayers so hopefully what is supposed to happen...will happen! As for now he is my boyfriend! And trust me...anything more than that right now is CRAZY TALK! But prayers would be greatly appreciated so the right thing happens since I have such a crazy messed up love life past!

Other than that...not much has been going on! Just working and hanging out! I turned in my macbook last Wednesday...it was sad. I will miss OC but I think it will be better for me to not be there. It might have been a stupid decision but its made now and I am not going to regret it.

Here's my thought for the day in a quote! Enjoy!

"If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time."
-Edith Wharton

I is for...

In loving memory of Kathryn Michelle Kennedy!

1 year ago today at 12 in the morning I was sitting in the Warren East auditorium awaiting for Harry Potter and the Order Of The Pheonix to come on the big screen. I was thrilled! I had waited for days for it to come out and it was the midnight showing. I remember that night like it was yesterday, because little did I know that my best friend in the whole world was going through so much pain at the same time.

My best friend, Katie, was living the college life. She was working at the Air Force Base and just hanging out since it was the summer time. She would stay up late and sleep in! She had just gotten a new dog not too long before this night. She loved Riley very much! A few days before the premier of Harry Potter I had asked Katie if she wanted to go with me. A lot of us were going to dinner and then to see Harry Potter later that night and I wanted to Katie to come along. She had told me that she didn't feel too well and really just wanted to stay at home. So, Katie decided that she would do her laundry that night. Around 1 A.M. on July 11th,2007 she walked downstairs to switch out her laundry when all of a sudden she couldn't catch her breath. She didn't know what was going on. So she walked upstairs and woke up her mom, since her mom was a nurse. Her mom rushed her to the hospital which was only a couple blocks away. Katie walked in and was responding to the doctor very well. The doctor looked at her and checked her vital signs and everything turned out right. So the doctor told her to just lay down on this bed and we will check a few more things so you can get on back to your beauty sleep. Katie laid down...and her heart stopped. It was tragic. They did surgeries after surgeries to try and bring her back. Nothing worked. She was pronounced dead sometime that night, I'm not sure the exact time.

After, I had left the Harry Potter premier I went home and didn't think anything of it. I found my pillow and went off to sleep. I had no idea that such a tragedy was happening at the same time. The next morning I awoke in time to attend my 8 o' clock class. I had a test first thing in Psychology and then after my test we had a break before we came back for a lecture. During the break, I was feeling pretty good until I checked my voicemail. My best friend Chris had called me and left a message, 'Myra, call me it's about Katie' I honestly didn't know what to think. I had no idea anything was going on. I called Chris and when he told me what happened I didn't believe him. I said, 'Stop joking around Chris!' He wasn't. He was really sad.

The funeral was on the 14th of July. It was a very nice service. They had lots of pictures and it was really hard to be there. It really hadn't hit me until I saw the casket. I about died...I was just heartbroken. I couldn't believe that my best friend for so long was gone. Still today, I sometimes feel like she will just come back one day because I don't want it to be real. At her funeral, there was so many people. We all wore pink in remembrance of her! That was her favorite color!

Today, I just want to ask for everyone's prayers for me, Katie's family, and all of Katie's friends. This is a very hard day for me to get through and I know that Katie is up there watching over me right now. So if all of you could just stop...take a minute..and remember my best friend Katie. She will always be with me! I love you Katie and I really miss you!

Thanks for your prayers!

In Loving Memory of Kathryn Michelle 'Katie' Kennedy!